Self-care first: Why it's not selfish and how to do it
How to look after yourself everyday, so that you can support everyone else around you.
Have you ever heard the saying, “you can’t pour from an empty cup”? This quote is used to emphasise how important it is to take care of yourself, in order to help and support others.
You can’t help others when you are running on empty. And you can’t take care of yourself when you always put the needs of others above your own. Humans are wired to care and connect, but sometimes we can take this a step too far and help others at the expense of our own health and happiness.
The importance of self-care
If you habitually prioritise other people’s needs over your own, then you might – ironically – be doing both yourself and the people you care about a disservice.
When you feel exhausted and overwhelmed, you won’t be able to give people your full energy and support. Physically, you might be there. But emotionally or mentally – it’s all too much.
That’s why self-care is so important. It’s more than just a buzzword or a trend, and it’s definitely not an indulgence. Filling your tank first helps you be a better relative, friend, worker, and member of your community.
How to fill your cup
In a nutshell, it’s about prioritising self-care. Here are some ways you can move yourself to the top of your to-do list.
Start with sleep
If you’re really pressed for time, start with sleep. Getting enough sleep is essential for feeling your best. If you’re constantly feeling tired or experiencing other symptoms of sleep deprivation, see if you can make some changes.
Is falling asleep isn’t an easy task check out this article on how to sleep better and wake up feeling more energised.
2. Aim for little and often
Self-care doesn’t always need to be a 60 minute yoga session, a three-course meal, or a week’s worth of exercise plans. Often, it’s as simple as taking five minutes in the morning to stretch your body in a way that feels good. Or, pausing each hour to take a few deep breaths in fresh air. Instead of speeding through your day hoping to relax at the end of it, try to take quiet moments for yourself as often as possible. Treat each day as a marathon, not a sprint.
3. Create a self-care goody bag
This is a fun one that Sir John Kirwan swears by. Make sure you have different things to look forward to in the day – and do them. For JK, this includes taking time to experience and enjoy taking a shower, drinking a coffee, walking, and playing guitar. Your goody bag is a list of things that fill your tank, and could include things like watching a comedy, walking in nature or listening to music.
You can also create virtual or real goody bags to delve into any time you need a pick-me-up. The virtual goody bag could include photos of friends or family, guided meditations, or funny videos. Your real-life goody bag could hold a good book, art supplies, and a bar of chocolate.
4. Start the day your way
The things you do within the first hour of waking can set the tone for your entire day. If you immediately check your emails, scroll social media, or throw yourself into household chores, there’s a risk you will stay in ‘reactive mode’ all day, responding to other people’s requests and demands instead of taking time out for you. Whether it’s exercise, meditation, journalling, or just sipping your morning coffee, if possible, set aside some time in the morning to do something that fills your cup.
Want to wake up feeling more energised so you have more me-time in the mornings? Take a look at our tips here.
5. Nourish your mind and body
Fuel your mind and body with energising food. Nutrition looks different for everyone, but some staples that work for most people include drinking plenty of water, eating a variety of colourful fruits and vegetables, and taking the time to enjoy your meals.
6. Lean on your support network
Everyone needs a support network, yourself included. Don’t try to be a superhero and navigate the complexities of life on your own. Ask for help when you need it and make time to connect with the people who have your back – whether by call, txt or social media DM.
Your support network doesn’t have to be your friends and family. For Gabrielle Magrid, founder of Stronger than Stigma, a support group for depression and anxiety was a turning point. Read her story here.
7. Do one thing a day that fills your tank
If you can commit to nothing else, try this one. Everyone deserves to do something they enjoy every day. Make a list of all the activities and hobbies you love and schedule ‘tank-filling-time’ into your calendar as a non-negotiable. Even five minutes counts. You’ve got this.
