How to get started with self-kindness

Switch out negative self-talk with self-kindness.

Studies show that self-kindness has incredible benefits for wellbeing. For example, self-kindness triggers the release of oxytocin (one of your brain's feel-good hormones), increases feelings of happiness and optimism, builds resilience, and helps you bounce back from stress.

Here are 11 small ways you can start practicing self-kindness today.

1. Take breathing breaks

Stop and breathe for a few minutes as often as you can. We're constantly rushing from one thing to the next without pause – but we're humans! Not machines. Give yourself the gift of stopping to breathe and just be. Check out our Breathing Tool for some guided breathing exercises.

2. Spend time learning about the 6 Pillars

Doing something from each of our 6 Pillars of Wellbeing daily will help you build resilience, feel good, and bounce back from stress. The Enjoy Pillar is a great place to start, as it's all about the things you do for pleasure, fun, and self-care.

3. Understand your limits

Saying no is difficult for many people. But it's vital that you set healthy boundaries for yourself because no one else will! Self-kindness is not spreading yourself too thin across many different tasks and commitments – as you’ll only suffer in the long run. And that’s not fair to you.

4. Reframe mistakes as learning opportunities

It’s easy to beat yourself up when you make a mistake. But guess what – everyone makes mistakes. So next time you ‘stuff up’, ask yourself what you learned for next time.

5. Schedule regular self-care

No one else will prioritize your self-care. So book it yourself! Everyone deserves time to fill their cup, and that includes you, too. Here are 32 free and easy self-care ideas to inspire you.

6. Treat yourself as you would a friend

When our friends are being too tough on themselves, we're usually the first to rush to their side and remind them of what makes them unique. Imagine if we spoke to ourselves this way, too?

7. Appreciate what’s good in life

Noticing small, good things in our lives helps to minimize negative thinking and build mental resilience. Try thinking about one good thing before you go to sleep each night.

8. Celebrate all achievements

From big to small and everything in between, if you're feeling proud about a job well done or achieving a goal – celebrate! Just like you would do for a friend, you're allowed to cheer yourself on. If you're struggling with this, check out our Celebrate Pillar for some ideas.

9. Write a letter to yourself

Getting things down on paper can be quite therapeutic. It could be a list of the things you like about who you are or telling yourself a story about how much you have grown over the past few years. Perhaps you want to forgive yourself for a past regret or make plans for the future – put pen to paper and see how you feel after.

10. Treat yourself

This means something other than buying yourself something material. But more like indulging in something that's self-nurturing. It could be cooking a delicious meal and then sitting down and eating it slowly – enjoying all the flavors. Or it could be curling up with a good book and a cup of tea.

11. Practice acceptance of who you are

No one knows our faults as we do. But guess what? Everyone has them. No one is perfect, and even if it seems like someone is – it's pretty much guaranteed they won't be. So practice the art of accepting yourself for everything you are, flaws and all.