8 ways to stay calm in the age of coronavirus

Covid-19

Apr 8

Coping strategies to help you reduce stress during these uncertain times.

It’s normal to feel stressed right now. You’re not alone.

The stress response is your body’s natural way of preparing for challenges – including times of change and uncertainty. When you perceive there is some challenge, your body releases stress hormones that increase your energy and focus in the short-term, so you can make fast decisions and keep yourself safe. This is called the fight or flight response.

Think of fight or flight mode as a type of ‘emergency energy’ that your body draws on. It can be incredibly helpful. However, problems can arise when your body gets into fight or flight mode too much, or stays there too long. Then, your body uses a lot of energy to stay on high alert, which could leave you feeling depleted, exhausted and on edge. You want to preserve this type of energy for situations where you really need it.

Staying calm isn’t about pretending everything is fine or suppressing your emotions. It’s about helping your body minimise the amount of time it spends in fight or flight mode when it is not needed.

The good news is, there are plenty of small things you can do to help your body out of fight or flight mode, even during highly stressful times.

By remaining calmer, you’ll be in a better position to make long-term decisions for yourself and your loved ones.

With this in mind, here are some strategies for staying calm in the age of the coronavirus.

1. Focus on what you can control

There’s a lot going on in the world at the moment. Focus on what you can control and live in the present moment as much as you can. Think about what you can do today.

The Worry Map is a tool to help you think through what you can control, and what you can’t.

Once you record a worry in the Worry Map, you then focus on what you can do to address the worry. Think about the things you can do right now, like taking breaks from the news, staying active, and washing your hands.

You also identify what is outside of your control, like how long this COVID-19 situation will last.

You can then make an action plan to deal with the worry based on the things you CAN do. Your action plan might be to have an early morning walk, to avoid the news during the afternoon, and to regularly wash your hands.

The Worry Map is a great tool to help you manage your worries in a structured, practical way, so you can step out of cycles of anxious thoughts.

2. Take care of your body

Looking after your body is important all the time, but it’s even more essential during times of stress.

Eat well and keep active. Get sunshine and fresh air. And enough sleep. Pause to take deep, calming breaths.

Deep breathing is worth a special mention here, because it can help you switch off your fight or flight response. Short, shallow breaths keep your body in a state of stress and tension, while breathing deep into your belly sends a message to your brain to calm down and relax.

One way to train your body to breathe deeply is to take regular breathing breaks throughout your day. These are opportunities to focus on your breath and create moments of calm. Try some Guided Breathing Exercises to find a technique that works for you.

3. Limit news and social media

It’s important to keep up-to-date with accurate information. But constantly watching, listening to, or reading upsetting content can leave you feeling overwhelmed.

Upsetting news may trigger your body’s fight or flight response, even if the threat is far away from you.

Try to limit the amount of time you spend staying informed. Choose times of day when you want to check in on what is happening. And, if possible, stick to trusted sources of information, such as covid-19.govt.nz.

And, when you do watch the news, also try to breathe in a calming way.

4. Acknowledge your feelings

You may feel all sorts of emotions as you process change and uncertainty. Taking the time to notice and show understanding for your feelings – a process called validation – can really help.

Try to be open to all the feelings you’re having – whatever they are. There’s no such thing as a wrong emotion. It’s human to experience a full range of emotions – some pleasant, others not so much.

Try to acknowledge, name, and validate your feelings. Validation is about making space to notice your thoughts, feelings, and urges without jumping in to judge them, push them away, change them, or act on them immediately. That small step can really help to reduce stress.

Also, when you take the time to acknowledge your feelings on a regular basis, you may begin to notice patterns. You might identify your common ‘stress triggers’ – and see more clearly what could help.

At the moment, it’s likely the stress trigger is COVID-19 and the changes that have come with it.

If you notice, for example, that you are getting snappy with the people in your “bubble”, try to acknowledge that. It’s very possible the stress trigger is spending too much time together. Notice the feeling, and validate it (it's understandable to be annoyed at times right now). Then you can identify what might help.

This could include talking about it together, having some scheduled alone time in separate rooms (even the bathroom could work if you're living in a small space!), taking turns minding children, and making sure each person gets time to do something they enjoy.

Many people are stuck in fight or flight mode without realising it. Acknowledging and validating your emotions can be a great step to ensuring emotions come and go without building up, and to knowing better what could help.

5. Keep a routine

Keeping a routine – whether it's an old one, or a new one – can help to minimise stress, uncertainty, and decision fatigue.

We are all facing many disruptions to our normal routine over the coming months. This can be stressful.

It may be comforting to identify what can stay the same – or similar – to your normal routine. In uncertain times, familiarity can help.

Think of everything that can stay the same, even in a lockdown. For example, waking up at the same time, walking the dog, making the kids’ lunches, or watching your favourite shows on TV in the evening.

Next, make a list of things that will change, and then brainstorm some solutions for keeping these changes close to your normal routine. For example, you could swap gym workouts for home workouts, social occasions for video calls, and regular work meetings or catch ups for virtual meetings.

That said, it’s also okay if you need to change things up or take a break from some of it all. Be gentle on yourself and approach each day with compassion.

6. Stay connected

Self-isolation and social distancing doesn’t have to mean complete social isolation – there are many ways to stay in touch online.

Social connection can reduce stress, and connecting with people you care about is shown to promote the release of feel-good hormones, such as oxytocin.

Set aside some time each day to phone or video call friends, family, or people in your community who might like to talk to someone.
Send text messages, or share humorous videos or helpful articles.
Try to spend some quality time with the people you’re self-isolating with.
Consider creating private online groups to connect with friends.
If you’re working from home, schedule video calls to stay in touch with colleagues.

When you’re feeling stressed, you may be tempted to withdraw from people.

It’s normal to feel this way from time to time, but if you notice it happening a lot, do try to reconnect when you can.

Even just thinking about friends, family, or colleagues you care about can help.

Staying connected during a time of stress doesn’t have to feel heavy or serious – you’re allowed to laugh and have fun and talk about things you would normally enjoy talking about.

When serious conversations do arise, listen to one another. Try not to feel obliged to come up with solutions to fix the problem. Just listening is enough.

7. Do things you enjoy

Add activities to your day that will bring pleasure. It will lift your mood and make it easier to cope with stress.

Sir John Kirwan swears by creating a ‘Goody Bag’. Every day, he makes time for activities that he enjoys, so he always has something to look forward to.

His Goody Bag often includes things like a glass of red wine with dinner, reading a book, going for a walk, spending quality time with his family, or cooking a new recipe.

Brainstorm all of the things that you enjoy that you can do at home, and see if you can do at least three of these each day.

8. Ask for help

We’re all wired for connection, and while it might feel like it sometimes, we aren’t going through this global pandemic alone.

Ask for help if you need it. You might need help with practical things, such as managing your finances. Or, you might need to spend more time talking with friends and family.

Try not to bear the weight of the world on your shoulders. You are human, and it’s human to feel anxious in stressful situations. What matters is that you reach out and share your struggles. We’re all in this together.

Remember, it’s the small things you do each day that can help to remain calmer.

In summary: