Help! My partner is a restless sleeper

What to do if your partner is keeping you awake at night.

If you share a bed with a restless sleeper, you’ll know all about interrupted sleep.

It’s tough to sleep well next to a snorer, sleep-talker, or restless-leg-shaker! 

You might feel like there’s nothing you can do but suffer through their odd sounds and movements, but help is here.

Before you head for the couch in despair, try one of these techniques to see if it makes a difference. 

Move away from moving together

When sharing a bed with a restless sleeper, space can be key. 

Try sleeping on a firm mattress to prevent roll together – and, if you can, opt for a mattress that’s large enough for you to both spread out.

Another option is to consider a mattress with an independent coil system. This technology minimises partner disturbance, and may help you to sleep uninterrupted.

Solve the snoring

If snoring is the cause of poor sleep, try to encourage your partner to get their snoring sorted.

Ask if they will visit a doctor or sleep specialist to rule out any underlying conditions, such as sleep apnoea.

Another novel tip is to sew a pocket containing a ping-pong ball into their pajama top, so they can’t lie comfortably on their back. Or, buy them a snoring pillow.

Consider splitting the duvet

Try to put two single duvets on the bed, instead of a larger duvet that you both share. This gives everyone a wee bit more room to move.

Try a weighted blanket

Weighted blankets are filled with glass beads or plastic pellets for increased heaviness. Many people find they soothe anxiety, promote a sense of calm, and improve overall sleep quality.

These blankets can be particularly good for people with restless leg syndrome, as the added weight may be enough to keep their legs still.

Make good sleep hygiene a priority

Sleep hygiene refers to everything you can do to set yourself up for a good night’s sleep. 

For example:

  • Avoid blue light from screens for at least two hours before bedtime. Exposure to blue light delays the release of melatonin (the ‘sleep hormone’) and therefore interferes with your sleep. 

  • Make sure your bed is comfortable and that your bedroom is dark and not too hot.

  • Follow a soothing bedtime routine, such as a bath or cup of herbal tea.

  • Try to exercise throughout the day (ideally outdoors) to set your body up for good sleep.

  • Avoid stimulants such as caffeine, alcohol or sugar close to bedtime.

By following good sleep hygiene practices, you’ll be more likely to fall asleep quickly and sleep deeply – which means you might be lucky enough to sleep through your partner’s restlessness!

Encourage your partner to follow good sleep hygiene to see if that improves their symptoms, too.

Ask your partner to see a sleep specialist

A sleep specialist can rule out health conditions and provide tips and products suited to your partner’s symptoms.

If anything, seeing a sleep specialist will reassure your partner that they’re not alone, and hopefully arm them with tools to improve.


Download the Mentemia app for more sleep advice and tools.


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