How to sincerely apologise when you make a mistake.
It’s human to make mistakes. Here’s how to avoid the guilt and make it right.
Oh no – you’ve made a mistake.
There’s nothing like the crushing guilt of knowing you’re in the wrong and someone might be suffering for it in some way.
The thing is, everyone knows what that guilt feels like. And that’s because everyone makes mistakes at some point. We’re only human after all!
The real test of character is what you do next, and while there are countless ways to make something up to someone, the very first and most important on the list is to apologise sincerely.
Begin with sorry
Any good apology starts with “I’m sorry”. These are the magic words that will open the door to the rest of the apology.
The trick is to ensure you don’t stop there, and to make sure you head in the right direction.
Mention your mistake
The hardest part is sometimes going over the mistake you made, as it can bring back bad memories and make you feel even more guilty.
However, this part is vital as it ensures they know you are aware of exactly what you did, and that you’re not just saying sorry because they’re upset.
It also helps to ensure that you own that mistake.
For example, “I’m sorry you felt upset by what I said”, is almost an attack masquerading as an apology. It starts well, but then puts the blame for the incident onto the other person, suggesting that it is not the thing you did or said, but their fault for reacting that way.
Instead, “I’m sorry my words were hurtful” actually accepts the blame, and highlights that you are aware of where you went wrong.
You don’t need to go over your mistake in minute detail, but mentioning it will help to clear the air and put the incident in the past where you want it.
Show you understand the repercussions
Perhaps you said something mean and hurt someone’s feelings, or you failed to meet a deadline at work and a colleague had to work over the weekend to make up for it.
A key part of any apology is to show acknowledgement and understanding of the effect of your mistake. Therefore, whatever the fallout was, be sure to mention it briefly.
Again, it’s easier said than done, but this step will ensure the other person feels understood, validated, and like you genuinely know why they’re upset with you.
Learn from your mistake
The final key step of a sincere apology is important for both you and the hurt party.
This stage is where you illustrate to them that you’ve learned from your mistake and that you’re taking steps to avoid making the same mistake in the future.
The other person might not immediately offer their forgiveness, and this is ok. The important thing is that you have taken the first step in mending the relationship.
