Shake it off: How to take things less personally
The art of shaking it off and not letting little moments get under your skin.
Have you ever been in a situation where someone did or said something seemingly harmless that upset you in the moment – and it stuck with you for hours or days?
These small moments and off-hand comments can cut much deeper than you’d like, and the frustrating part is, half the time you don’t even know why it hurts so much.
Often, it’s a case of taking something personally that wasn’t meant personally at all, and may not have even had anything to do with you.
Try these tips to stop letting little moments get under your skin.
Notice when you are assuming the worst
Say you sent someone a text or an email and you haven’t heard back two days later. If you were taking it personally, you might assume the worst and think the delay is about you.
Instead, try thinking about the situation in a more flexible way.
First, observe what your mind is doing (assuming the worst!).
Then, think about what else could be happening.
For example, remind yourself that they are often very busy and it might have slipped their mind to reply (it happens to everyone!).
In many cases, noticing when you’re assuming the worst – and then thinking through some other explanations – doesn’t change what happened, but it can alter your mindset and reframe the incident into something that won’t irk you for the rest of the day or suck up your energy.
Put yourself in their shoes
Sometimes, you’ll deal with someone who is undoubtedly irritable or clearly annoyed.
It’s only human to feel somewhat attacked when you’re greeted with a grunt or a sharp comment rather than the usual friendliness you would expect, regardless of whether that comes from a stranger, friend, colleague, or loved one.
This is the time to step back from the situation and try empathy before snapping back.
There’s often no way of knowing what that person has been through that day, from getting by on zero sleep, to relationship problems, to dealing with a sick beloved pet at home.
Or perhaps they’ve just dealt with someone before you who was decidedly awful to them.
Whatever the case, it might help you to give them the benefit of the doubt. Hopefully, others will offer you a little empathy and let your sour mood slide on your next bad day, too.
Check in with yourself
Anyone can take things to heart when they’re low on sleep, upset by something that’s happened earlier that day, or simply a bit hungry.
Is it possible you’re only taking something personally because you’re already feeling down? Would the comment bug you on a normal day?
Taking things more personally than usual could be a sign that you’re a bit stressed or tired.
Maybe you could use it as a reminder to do something that makes you feel good, like one of these 32 free self-care ideas.
Final thoughts
Ultimately, not taking things so personally can do wonders for reserving your mental energy.
It may take some time to stop assuming the worst and to look at things from other perspectives. But, like anything, it’s a skill you can get better with over time. Try it out!
