How to be kind to yourself at work

Discover ways to be kinder to yourself in the workplace and reap the benefits for your wellbeing.

Imagine this: you’re running late to a meeting because of circumstances beyond your control.

Are you more likely to tell yourself, "it's OK, these things happen," or "I'm terrible at time management"? Do you choose self-kindness or put yourself down?

If you're more likely to put yourself down, you're not alone. Everyone experiences negative self-talk. Our brains are wired for negativity – this negativity bias helps keep us safe.

"We're wired to notice things that present a threat so we can keep ourselves alive," explains Groov VP Clinical Dr Fiona Crichton.

“That means we’re more attuned to the negative things – like criticism.”

Our inner critic will always be present, but there are things we can do to make it quieter and stop it from eroding our self-worth. Self-kindness is a great place to start.

The science of self-kindness

Studies show self-kindness has incredible benefits for your wellbeing. For example, being kind to yourself triggers the release of oxytocin (one of your brain's feel-good hormones). It increases happiness and optimism, builds resilience, and helps you bounce back from stress.

Self-criticism creates a very different reaction in the brain. When we're too hard on ourselves, the amygdala – our brain's 'lookout' – may perceive this as a threat and release stress hormones. Harsh self-criticism can also trigger our brain's fight-or-flight response.

Research shows spending too much time in fight or flight is detrimental to our wellbeing and can even lead to chronic stress or burnout. Self-kindness is a powerful way to dial down our fight-or-flight response and rewire our brains for optimism.

Self-kindness in the workplace

Practicing self-kindness in the workplace can help you feel better about yourself, your job, and the people around you. It's a powerful way to remind yourself that we're all human and doing the best we can.

Here are some practical ways to practice self-kindness at work.

·   Reframe mistakes as learning experiences

·   Celebrate personal accomplishments

·   Speak to yourself as you would a friend

·   Notice small good things about your work

·   Take microbreaks throughout the day to breathe and just be

·   Set boundaries to protect your time and energy

·   Ask for help when you need it

If in doubt, remember that self-kindness is about allowing yourself to be human. It's recognizing your strengths and weaknesses and feeling good about both. Also, know that it's normal to make mistakes – doing so is often a gift and an opportunity to learn.

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Kind alternatives to negative self-talk

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Self-kindness and the brain