10 common mind traps and how to break free
Mind traps are often inaccurate, critical, or simply unhelpful. Recognise the ones you get caught in so you can break free.
We all get caught in mind traps sometimes. Mind traps are also known as ‘thinking errors’, ‘negative automatic thoughts’, or ‘unhelpful thoughts’ because they are often inaccurate, critical, or simply unhelpful.
Mind traps can consume your thinking, including what you pay attention to, and impact how you feel, and your decision-making and actions.
You can fall into mind traps at any time, but you’re more likely to when under stress. If you feel like your mind has ‘run away on you’ or is ‘spiralling’, there’s a good chance you’re caught in a mind trap.
There’s also a chance you might be caught in mind traps even if it doesn’t feel like it. That’s why being aware of them is the first step to getting out.
Recognising and naming mind traps
Below is a list of 10 common mind traps. Do you get caught in any?
1. Fortune telling
At times, you might find yourself thinking that things are going to turn out badly.
Some examples of the ways people think when they are caught up in fortune telling include:
“I’ll always feel overwhelmed.”
“I’ll never get promoted.”
“I’ll never get this done.”
“Christmas with the family will be a nightmare.”
Alternatively, you might find yourself fortune telling about other people, thinking things like “they’ll never do this job well” or “they are bound to mess this up”.
2. Black and white thinking
When we get caught thinking things are good or bad, an utter success or a complete failure, it’s hard to see the middle ground.
Below are a few examples of black and white thinking.
“The meeting started late. It was a disaster.”
“If I don't do it perfectly, I might as well not bother.”
“I sent an email and forgot the attachment. What a failure.”
When black and white thinking is directed at someone else, it could be: “I am right, and they are wrong.”
3. Mind reading
Like the other mind traps, mind reading is very common.
You might find yourself getting caught up thinking that people are judging you – even when you don’t have any real evidence this is true.
Common mind reading thoughts include:
“They think I’m a loser.”
“He thinks I am boring.”
“She has no time for me.”
“He obviously believes I am an idiot.”
Instead of thinking people are judging us, we might also mind-read motives that aren’t there, like, “They’re trying to fool me and take me for a ride”.
4. Jumping to conclusions
You might find yourself making leaps – making a strong judgement about a situation without all the facts.
Jumping to conclusions is closely related to mind reading. You may assume people’s behaviour is a negative response to you – or is being done to hurt you – without knowing what might be going on for them.
This often happens in relationships or friendships when you misinterpret the reason for someone's behaviour.
Some examples of jumping to conclusions include:
“They’re not smiling. I must have upset them.”
“She’s gone into her office without saying hi. She’s avoiding me.”
“He’s so quiet. He doesn’t like me.”
“She hasn’t responded to my text yet. She’s annoyed with me.”
“They’re doing that to make me angry.”
5. Overgeneralising
Overgeneralising is when one thing happens and we think it always happens. If you use words like ‘never’, ‘always’, 'nothing’, or ‘everything,' you could be overgeneralising.
Some examples of overgeneralising are:
“Nothing interesting ever happens to me.”
“I never speak well when I talk in meetings.”
“It’s always like this.”
“I never have good ideas.”
We overgeneralise about other people when we say things like “They're always such an idiot”.
6. Catastrophising
When we catastrophise, we jump to the worst-case scenario.
You might find yourself thinking things like:
“My boss doesn’t like me. I’m getting fired and I’ll never work again.”
“People will see I am a bundle of nerves and they’ll never respect me.”
"I had an argument with my daughter – now she’s going to hate me.”
“My son failed his test – he’ll never get a job.”
“They messed up – this project is doomed!”
When we catastrophise, we lose perspective.
7. Negative filtering
Have you found yourself focusing on the negative? Ignoring any positive things that happen?
Some examples of negative filtering include:
“My review said I was doing well, but could communicate better. It was terrible.”
“It would have been okay if I hadn’t got that negative comment.”
“I’m learning the dance routine, but always mess up that one step. My memory is so bad!”
“All I can think about is that comment he made.''
When focused on someone else, you might think “I can’t see anything useful they’ve done”.
Like the other mind traps, it’s easier to get caught here when you’re under stress.
8. Labelling
Do you use judgemental words to describe yourself – or other people?
When caught up in labelling, you might find yourself thinking things like:
“I’m terrible”.
“I’m useless.”
“I’m a bad friend.”
“I’m hopeless.”
“They are so stupid.”
9. Emotional reasoning
Emotional reasoning is when you mistake feelings for facts. Emotions are part of being human. Problems can arise when you base all your interpretations on what you’re feeling.
For example:
“I feel stupid” becomes “I am stupid”.
“I feel scared” becomes “There must be something to be afraid of”.
“I feel jealous” becomes “They are cheating”.
“I’m angry” becomes “They deserve a good telling off!”
While at times some of these things may be true, it helps to notice when you might be getting caught in this mind trap, and to step back.
10. Should statements
Should statements tell you everything you should or shouldn’t do, must or can’t do, or should or shouldn't have done.
In this ‘should’ mind trap, you get caught in rules about how you, or other people, should think, feel or behave.
For example:
“I should always know what to do.”
“I shouldn’t feel upset.”
“I should be better at this.”
“I must control my feelings.”
“I can’t tell them what I need.”
“They should know how I’m feeling and do something about it!”
To notice when you’re caught in this mind trap, watch out for key words like should, shouldn’t, can’t, must, or mustn’t.
What happens in a mind trap?
Mind traps feel different for everyone, but here are some common reactions.
You may get stuck in thought loops. You might be aware of this, or not.
You may start focusing on different things, often not by choice – for example, not seeing things in perspective, only seeing a small part of the bigger picture, or only looking out for threats.
Your thoughts may impact your emotions – for example, making you feel more sad, angry, overwhelmed, ashamed, awkward, scared, or apathetic.
You may experience physical reactions such as feeling hot, cold, tense, or tired. Your heart may race or pound. You might lose your appetite. You might change your posture – perhaps hunching over.
You might take actions that make life harder – in small or extreme ways.
You might create a self-fulfilling prophecy. Your thoughts could make you act in ways that make your thoughts come true. For example, you might think someone doesn’t like you, and then avoid the person or act grumpy around them.
What can help?
Thoughts aren't a problem unless they cause problems. If your thoughts are causing you problems – you might be getting caught in some of these mind traps.
Knowing the mind traps you fall into can be really helpful. Simply noticing what is happening, and saying “I’m mind reading” can stop us getting stuck. That step alone can save us a lot of mental and emotional energy, and prevent us from doing things that make the situation worse.
But awareness isn’t everything. If you would like to find out four more ways to work with mind traps, read ‘Get out of Mind traps: The Five As’ in the Mentemia app (links to download below!) for five ways to get out of a mind trap.
Remember, it isn’t about trying to never have these thoughts. The goal is to notice them, and spend less time caught in them, so they have less impact on your thoughts, attention, emotions, decisions, and actions.
