How to have a healthy relationship with your smartphone
Eight ways to set healthy boundaries with your smartphone.
During lockdown, or at times when we’re separated from family and friends, being able to keep in touch via a smartphone can be a lifesaver. Through social media, instant messaging apps and phone and video calls we can reach out to others and keep in contact even when we can’t physically get together. In short, Smartphones are incredible.
However despite their many pluses, smartphones can easily become all-consuming. Even when we don’t need them we can find ourselves keeping them close at hand and checking them frequently.
It’s not just a lack of willpower that keeps us in this cycle of regular checking. Your smartphone is, in fact, specifically designed to keep you as engaged as possible, for as long as possible.
So if you do find yourself reaching for your smartphone all the time – or feeling jittery when it’s far from reach – don’t take it as a sign of weakness on your part. Smartphone and social media companies spend millions of dollars to hook you in and keep you coming back for more.
The good news is, we can still take charge of our relationship with our smartphone and make it a healthy one. These tips will help you to get the benefits that come from having a smartphone without letting it rule your life.
1. Focus on how it helps
The irony of you reading this article on your smartphone is not at all lost on us. Smartphones can be a great source of information, connection, and even joy.
So, although it’s tempting to go cold turkey, digital amputation is not the answer. Instead, focus on the ways your smartphone helps in your life.
Try this: Write a list of all the ways your smartphone adds to your life. Then try to only use it for these things (ideally, for less than a few hours a day).
2. Only reach for your smartphone when you need it
How often do you find your smartphone in your hand, without any recollection of why you picked it up in the first place?
One minute you’re going about your day, the next minute you’re scrolling Facebook.
Try this: Only reach for your phone when you need to contact someone or find specific information. Resist the scroll.
3. Keep your smartphone out of sight
Out of sight, out of mind. Instead of keeping your smartphone where you can see it, keep it tucked away.
Still find yourself reaching for your phone every five minutes?
Try this: Put a post-it sticker on the screen, or attach an annoying bell. Something to stop you in your tracks.
4. Delete your most addictive apps
Can you pinpoint the most addictive app on your smartphone?
For some people, it’s Candy Crush. For others, it’s Instagram.
Notice how you feel after interacting with each app. Do you feel uplifted and energised? Or dazed and drained?
Try this: Delete your most problematic apps, even just for a day. Notice how you feel.
5. Ban smartphones from the bedroom
Smartphones wreak havoc on sleep. They emit blue light, which suppresses melatonin (a sleep-inducing hormone) and interferes with your natural sleep/wake cycle.
Even if you don’t look at your phone in bed, it’s mere presence in the bedroom could be distracting.
Try this: Invest in an alarm clock and leave your phone in the kitchen where you can check it over your morning coffee.
6. Track your screen time
Use an app to monitor how much time you’re spending on your phone. It may seem counter-intuitive to use an app, but it’s the best way to measure exact results.
And, once you know better, you do better.
Try this: Track your screen time for a week. The numbers might surprise you and give you extra motivation to cut down your smartphone use.
7. Put your phone away when you’re with others
Whether it’s a first date or dinner with the family, we’re all guilty of keeping a phone in our pocket or even on the table, stealing glances when the conversation ebbs.
But, unless you’re waiting for an important phone call, there’s no reason to have it out.
Try this: Put it in the bottom of your bag – or even in another room – to remove the temptation altogether.
8. Be gentle on yourself
Feeling addicted to your smartphone is normal. It’s not a sign of weakness or poor control. Mobile devices are designed to be highly engaging, which is why we have to work extra hard to use them in moderation.
Treat yourself with compassion. Observe your smartphone use with curiosity, not judgement. Don’t beat yourself up when your screen time is high. Instead, make small adjustments until you find an approach that works for you.
Need help being kinder to yourself? Try these tips for kind self-talk.
