How to say no: 6 tips to politely decline
A quick guide to saying no, respectfully, at work and in your personal life.
Sometimes, saying no is the best thing you can do for your wellbeing.
Saying no helps you to:
Protect your boundaries
Avoid resentment
Be honest with others
Focus on what’s important to you
Manage competing priorities
But saying no can also feel uncomfortable, right? With a bit of practice and preparation, it can feel much easier. Here are six simple tips.
1. Practice
Say ‘no thank you’ out loud to yourself in the car, in front of the mirror, in the shower. This will help you build these words into your muscle memory.
Here are a few variations to practice:
Thanks for thinking of me. I can’t right now/I can’t make it/I can’t attend.
I’m at capacity right now, so I will decline. Thanks for understanding.
No, not at this time.
2. Keep it simple
Resist the temptation to over-explain your reasons for saying no. Keep your response simple and clear.
3. Delay if you’re unsure
If your knee-jerk reaction is to say yes immediately, respond with: “can I get back to you?”.
4. Be gracious
Rejection is always much easier to handle when it’s clear the person saying it has no bad feelings.
A friendly smile and simple ‘thank you’ can make a world of difference – it shows the other party that you appreciate their offer and helps to smooth over any negative feelings.
5. Offer an alternative (if you want)
Maybe you like the person or their idea, but you can’t make it that day – or you like the day and the person, but not the event. Suggest catching up some other time or doing something else.
6. Practice kind self-talk
Remind yourself it’s perfectly OK to say no. You have a right to protect your wellbeing and live according to your values.