Self-kindness in adversity with Jess Quinn
Highlights from our webinar with Jess Quinn, one of Aotearoa’s much-loved body acceptance and disability advocates.
Jess Quinn’s life changed forever when she was diagnosed with osteosarcoma, a form of bone cancer, at eight years old. She went from an active young kid to being in and out of hospital and undergoing a leg amputation to save her life.
“I would ask myself, ‘why me?’ a lot. Why did this happen to me and how do I move forward and live a happy life?” reflects Jess in an incredibly inspiring webinar with Groov’s VP Clinical, Dr Fiona Crichton.
The duo discussed:
The word disability and how we can manage assumptions
Ways to practise self-kindness
How to find body acceptance
And so much more
Watch the full webinar here (52 mins) or read our highlights below.
Rethinking the word disability
Jess is a proud disability advocate, but she has mixed feelings about the word disability.
“For me, when you break it down, the word disabled means that you are lacking ability. And I think, yes, that’s true. There are certain things – I can’t ride a bike – and that’s fine. I know other people with two legs that can’t ride a bike. So why am I the person that’s disabled by society?” questions Jess.
She understands the label is useful in many areas and even empowering for some, but she prefers to think about her body and abilities in a different way.
“I think we’re all differently abled,” says Jess. “And I think it’s up to us to define who we are.”
Ways Jess practises self-kindness
Jess shares some of the ways she quietens her inner critic and practises self-kindness:
Gratitude. “I remind myself of my abilities and what I’m able to do with the fact that I can get out of bed and put both feet on the floor, albeit I can only feel one of them, but I can get out of bed – that’s an incredible feat!”
Slowing down. “I shut off all devices in the weekends. I delete my social media apps to make sure I don’t go on them at all. I just go slow. I spend time with my family, I take my dog to the beach, and I just let myself be.”
Speak to yourself as if it’s someone you love. “I would never say to my friend or my sister or my partner some of the things that go on in my mind. I have to catch myself and go, that’s not OK to say to myself. I need to fill my mind with goodness because our bodies and minds are the homes that we’re going to live in for the entirety of our life.”
Read more: How to be kind to yourself at work
How Jess found body acceptance
For many years, Jess tried to hide her prosthetic leg by wearing long pants, and struggled with body acceptance.
“And then I realised how much it was holding me back,” says Jess. “I had to shake off what I thought everyone thought of me, and realise that all that mattered is what I thought of me. And I knew for a fact my situation wasn’t going to change. My leg isn’t growing back any time soon! So if I wanted to live this life of confidence and happiness, then I had to be the person to make the change. So one day I just decided to put on the shorts and it was the most liberating feeling in the world.”
Share-worthy quotes
Here are three more incredible insights from Jess!
“I think the kinder we are to ourselves, the kinder we can be to others.”
“It’s about taking small steps. The small things we can do – they make the biggest change. And you look back eventually and you kind of forget that you were in a different place once.”
For more insights from Jess, check out her Instagram or buy her book, Still Standing.